I have decided to explore racial stereotypes in the form of a dialogue between different kitchen utensils and appliances. each item is personified with a different nationality. I'm trying for humorous.
I really like the concept behind this, its really strong. I think it would be interesting to explore other national stereotypes, but the ones you have done are really effective. I also would get rid of the echo effect, but really good job so far.
I like the way you use voice and copy to communicate the different appliances but I think this piece could benefit from a little more reflection. Is there more of a story here you want to tell, beyond the toaster getting purchased in the end? Is there a reason why the microwave is American and the toaster is from the Middle East that could be communicated a little more clearly? Often, when things are really funny it's because there's some underlying truth. I know you're trying to explore stereotypes, but I think those are some other things you could think about in the process.
it's funny, but if the idea is to show alternate universe where ethnicities are kinds of appliances, don't say 'American,' etc. keep the accents, but don't explicitly mention 'american' and 'middle eastern,' b/c it makes the metaphor less consistent. make the issue that he is a toaster--not a middle eastern toaster.
I really like the voices!!!! Especially how, even though they are both your voice, they interact. It's a slick trick. But your levels.....THEY'RE TERRIBLE!!!!!! Please up them. And while it's a good argument, I too want to hear more of a story....or something. (though the cussing is hysterical. Not going to lie...) Sooooo keep it up! :)
Your conversation sounds really funny! Is it you speaking in different accents or is it two different people? I was laughing so much...it's so hilarious. However it sounds a little bit too messy in the middle. If you could eliminate the multiple layers, I think it will sound much more clear. I really enjoyed listening to this piece! Good work, Nathan!
Nathan, I can hear that you have a lot of fun with your voices. Now you need to really think about what is the story that unfolds. Right now I'm just hearing a lot of arguing in different accents.
Think back to the narrative arc that unfolds in the My Life as a Cup piece we heard in class. It too was funny, but the character evolved in our understanding over the course of the piece, became more complex, more than a one dimensional stereotype.
I really like the concept behind this, its really strong. I think it would be interesting to explore other national stereotypes, but the ones you have done are really effective. I also would get rid of the echo effect, but really good job so far.
ReplyDeleteNate,
ReplyDeleteI like the way you use voice and copy to communicate the different appliances but I think this piece could benefit from a little more reflection. Is there more of a story here you want to tell, beyond the toaster getting purchased in the end? Is there a reason why the microwave is American and the toaster is from the Middle East that could be communicated a little more clearly? Often, when things are really funny it's because there's some underlying truth. I know you're trying to explore stereotypes, but I think those are some other things you could think about in the process.
Keep going!
it's funny, but if the idea is to show alternate universe where ethnicities are kinds of appliances, don't say 'American,' etc. keep the accents, but don't explicitly mention 'american' and 'middle eastern,' b/c it makes the metaphor less consistent. make the issue that he is a toaster--not a middle eastern toaster.
ReplyDeleteI really like the voices!!!! Especially how, even though they are both your voice, they interact. It's a slick trick. But your levels.....THEY'RE TERRIBLE!!!!!! Please up them. And while it's a good argument, I too want to hear more of a story....or something. (though the cussing is hysterical. Not going to lie...) Sooooo keep it up! :)
ReplyDeleteYour conversation sounds really funny! Is it you speaking in different accents or is it two different people? I was laughing so much...it's so hilarious.
ReplyDeleteHowever it sounds a little bit too messy in the middle. If you could eliminate the multiple layers, I think it will sound much more clear.
I really enjoyed listening to this piece! Good work, Nathan!
Nathan,
ReplyDeleteI can hear that you have a lot of fun with your voices. Now you need to really think about what is the story that unfolds. Right now I'm just hearing a lot of arguing in different accents.
Think back to the narrative arc that unfolds in the My Life as a Cup piece we heard in class. It too was funny, but the character evolved in our understanding over the course of the piece, became more complex, more than a one dimensional stereotype.
-stephanie